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alt.fan.douglas-adams
Nine out of ten dentists recommend the official a.f.d-a webpage. Gets the whites whiter and the brights brighter! You'll see a significant effect in just forty-two days, or your money back! Some assembly required. Not for use with sanity. Sorry, we do not accept American Express. You may experience some side effects, such as hair loss, rash, hiccups, uncontrolable sneezing, and mild amounts of death.
Order Now!!
http://come.to/afda
The afda gold card:
accepted in more places throughout the universe than Visa or Mastercard
"...because at Milliways, you can see the end of the universe... but they don't take American Express."
(Or however those Visa ads go)
SlumpJet with Advanced Vectoid Stabilisis $1025 Milliways' Cover Charge $1017.5 Parking $1034.753 The End Of The Universe, With A Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster In Your Hand Priceless. Some things, money can't buy.
For everything else, there's the afda gold card.
Piano plays
Voiceover: The President's parties are famed for their debauchery and bad taste.
Zaphod is seen, wandering drunkenly round a party filled with assorted aliens. A waiter comes over with a drinks trolley
Random Alien: Monsieur, with zeez Gargle Blasters, you are really spoiling us!
Zaphod drinks a Gargle Blaster. He falls over.
Voiceover: The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster: the mark of bad taste.
afda: There's no bait so low that we won't go for it
The setting: Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
The situation: sleepyhead's mother has decided that her son is spending too much time on the "'net." Over her son's protestations that he is on "Usenet", and not the "Internet," she revokes his computer priviliges.
The script:
- cue sleepyhead, out downtown. It is approximately 3am. He walks into a store, and comes out with a large bundle, which seems to glow faintly orange. He walks out of shot.
- cue sleepyhead on a quiet residential street. 3:30 am. He throws a grappling hook attached to a rope onto the roof of a 3-story house. It catches. He clambers up the rope. Slung over his shoulder is the same bundle, still glowing orange, as was seen before. sleepyhead enters through a 3rd story window.
- next day: sleepyhead is munching packaging material out of a bowl. Oh wait, that's cereal.
He is typing rapidly on the comfortable, full-sized keyboard of a brand-new Apple iBook.
sleepyhead's mother wanders downstairs:
"sleepyhead, you're not connected to the net on your new computer, are you?"
"Ma, do you see a cord?"
he holds up the computer to show that there are no wires running from it.
"Okay...by the way, what's that big gray pod out by the computer?"
"Oh, just a...er...an anti-theft device. The Computer Club."
"Alright..."
- Zoom in on sleepyhead's screen: we see a newsreader window open, and the word ONLINE flashing in the bottom right corner. A diabolical smile extends across sleepyhead's face. We hear him thinking:
"Gotta have my froup."
Playing tonight live at Milliways, it's the Transfinite Cardinals.
Let's give them a big hand as they perform their first number,
'Multiple Orders Of Infinity'
afda a hard day at the office, what better than to slip down to your local galaxian drinking establishment and savour a nice, cool pint of afda beerTM
afda beerTM: Mmmm... good wholesome froupiness
"I thought I could leave the froup. I thought I could manage, with no adverse effects. But no! No sooner had I left, than I started missing important things - the anniversaries of the deaths of Romans; spork conventions; my life seemed to be cursed.
"I read the froup now. It makes me feel more secure."
afda: Once you join you are hooked for life...
Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!
Thanks to Bbz for this advert for Daisy, our spam-busting goat
afda: we fulfill your every fantasy.
even the one about cheese.
and women...salamanders!
As seen on ICQ, by Lariel and Khedron Khedron: mmm... froupie flakes... In fun-loving black-hole shapes! Lariel: Mmmhm! Yummy! Khedron: Now with extra points! Lariel: Also includes the official fully posable action figure of former Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox! Khedron: Move all three of his arms! Destroy other peoples' egos. Change history.* Lariel: (Not suitable for children under five years and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.)
~afda: where you're never more than three clicks away from anything
The prices are low whenever you go;
That's afda price!
Cost of connection £22 Cost of software $30 Cost of news.cis.dfn.de £0 Time for reading AFDA Priceless.
* With 42 proofs-of-froupiness and 7x9 points for S&H
