- There was this little chap called Timmy. Now Timmy would happily play in the local park with his dog, Scraps but one day Scraps scampered away into the forest like the mischevious puppy thet he was. Timmy chased Scraps until he came to an opening in the forest and found the pup staring quizically at...
- ...the supine body of an incredibly hairy creature.
"Get away from there, Scraps, you little shit!" yelled Timmy. "We can't have you getting fleas again!"
The puppy whimpered and shifted his weight, then looked back down at the beast. Timmy picked up a nearby stick and poked the creature in its side. It grunted and pushed itself up onto its elbows. Then it stood up to its fully respectable height. Then it looked Timmy straight in the eyes, turned, and ran as fast as it could to the dark forest.
- Scraps chased after it as fast as he could, much to Timmy's dismay. He heard Scraps scampering through the undergrowth for a short while, and then suddenly silence. Timmy looked around him edgily, then took a few haltering steps into the trees. Turning around, he tried to remember where his nice field had been, then plunged onward in the direction from which he had last heard Scraps barking...
- ...and came to a halt in the midst of a grove of trees. Now this wasn't just any grove, this was a deep dark gloomy grove. (The kind most often grown in scary story books.) The sky suddently grew dark (as is a rule in scary stories) and wind began to rustle through the trees. The barking of the little puppy had ceased long ago and Timmy was alone in this cruel dark world. The leaves behind him rustled and Timmy whirled around to see movement in the bushes. Obviously, some creature was back there. He edged closer and...
- ...recoiled as Scraps mangled body was thrown out of the bushes into the clearing. A tear running down his face, Timmy inched closer to former playmate. Pulling out his concealed handgun, he proceeded to examine Scraps body. Observing the telltale traces, he could only come to one grim conclusion:
- Scraps was actually a girl!
"Oh dear," said Timmy. "All this time I thought my puppy was a He."
Timmy leaned closer to see if Scraps was dead. Just as he put his hand to her chest, she leapt into the air and latched onto Timmy's neck. Timmy screamed and jumped to his feet, but Scraps held on tightly, growling all the while. Timmy managed to yank her away and throw her to the ground.
Panting, he looked at her and gasped "Bad dog! Very bad dog! No treats for you."
Scraps snorted and trotted off into the underbrush.
They must be scraps of Scraps.
- Scraps trotted off into the underbrush, but she left something behind: the curse of the were-animal [as in were-wolf]! Now that Timmy had been bitten, he would turn into the worst beast imaginable... a democrat! Every time someone used the letter X, Timmy made his awful transformation, and it usually lasted until somebody used anti-logic to counter his anti-logic.
- This was definitely bad for poor Timmy, and as he sat pondering about his dark future, a old crone lept from the tree that Timmy was siting by. This did indeed attract Timmy's attention, as one might think a 95 year old form leaping out of a tree screaming "ooooosssssshit" might in fact do. After a few minutes, well in fact some might say a lot of minutes, the old lady told Timmy why she had in fact leapt out of the tree. As it turns out, she was a ancient guardian of the forest. In fact she was 256 years old - only goes to show that the author isn't always right - and her reflexes weren't what they used to be. [Ásta Krisbergs]
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