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Various Froupiness

Help Me With Essay
Posted to %afda at the end of September 2000

Douglas Fyfe tapped the collective consciousness of afda on the shoulder and queried:
> Essay Help?

pieceoftheuniverse offered the following

Oh, right. Everyone got so caught up in the idea of which books were out there, we kind of lost sight of the original reason for your post.

Well, first off, we don't do other people's homework. So bear in mind that everything below is copyright pieceoftheuniverse, and any infractions will have dire consequences*. Basically, I know your teacher, I know people who know your teacher, I know people who know people who know your teacher, and thus am the second, third, and fourth degree away from you. Oh yes, and I probably know Kevin Bacon, but he's a good two degrees away from me. My lawyer, however, is only a quick degree away (but he's working on his bar exam, so he'll have that wrapped up right quick).

So, with that said, please take the following as a mere suggestion of the direction you can head. Ideas that I touch upon that spark that creative wit that no doubt lurks inside of you -- or, alternatively, the creative wit that you -wish- lurked inside of you -- please feel free to expand upon.

Spoiler Space follows:

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - A Quick Overview

There. That should do it.

Caleb gave us some more haiku summaries

Dent has to leave Earth.
Vogons bad, Zaphod steals ship,

Monkeys do Shakespeare.
Magrathea below, whale appears,
Petunia questions.

Mice run everything,
Dolphins smarter than humans.
Answer Forty-two.

Marvin is Depressed.
Talks to ship and then
Suicide ensues.

Many things go boom
Zaphod seances Grandpa
Nonsense runs rampant.

Almost, but not quite,
Entirely unlike tea.
Arthur tries again.

All are off to see,
The man who runs everything.
Snack, anybody?

Since all are hungry,
The Restaurant at the End
Of the Universe.

> There. That should do it.

Yes, yes it should.

Or, to quote Ben on the condensed version of the series,

"Arthur Dent leaves Earth.
 A whole bunch of stuff happens.
 Earth goes boom, again."

Mr. Fyfe didn't think this was sufficient, so pieceoftheuniverse had another go

Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is one of, if not the, best books in the entire Mish-Mash of the Cosmos. Not only is the writing style slightly to the left of the norm, but also entirely to the right, leaving the middle nicely unpeturbed with anything remotely approaching text.

The main scope of the work has to do with the Galaxy, as one might have already assumed what with the title being what it is. The one in question has been called by certain small-minded ape-decended creatures as the "Milky Way," although allusions to the candy bar have since been lost to time. Issues dealt with are numerous at best, collective in moderation, and completely random at the worst of times. Such examples include the short but definitive history of the role of leadership in the Galactic Empire, the one-page synopsis of the Legend of Magrathea, and of course the oft-considered Improbability Drive.

What makes this particular work stand out from, say, the Britannica Galactica, is that it focuses around a select group of characters that had the most appearances of almost any other creature in the galaxy -- save for, perhaps, an incarnated and tortured soul by the name of Agrajag. The individuals are, quite peculiarly, centered around the destruction of a backwards planet in the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm, which is strange only that the spheroid has almost no significance at all besides being an enormous computer.

In the work, which takes up six "parts" -- The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Life the Universe and Everything, So Long and Thanks for All the Fish, Mostly Harmless, and Salmon of Doubt -- the details of each life is specified and drawn out for as long as possible, in order to maximize sales, promote fandom, and basically avoid the fact that not much else is said about the galaxy except what the four main characters may happen to run into.

All in all, this reviewer gives the collection four and 936549805198489/9450624618963217 stars out of five. You should definitely give it a try, but don't pass up our four and 936549805198490/9450624618963217-award winner, Great Zarquon and the Singing Fish, or our single five-star earner, Little Wurdles Little Wurdles.

And finally, after hints and subtleties had failed, Jacob explained it in words of one syllable

Just go "it's funny" and hope. At least that's what you get if you try and make somebody do your homework. Ahem. Skipping the hints here.


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* iain, this doesn't apply to you. It only applies if you're being graded -- which I don't think you are -- and if you claim the work as your own -- which I know you would never do.