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pieces of the universe

Secret Alien Code
Posted to %afda by pieceoftheuniverse on 3 October 2000

MEow wrote:
> Fabian Seyfried <> skrev i en
> nyhedsmeddelelse:8rcv53$qrb$1@nets3.rz.RWTH-Aachen.DE...
> > Hi!
> > If not everybody has them already, I could post the word files of the five
> > books of HHGTHG... not that you would want to read it on your screen ;-)
> > Interested? Post!
> > Ciao, McGnomus!!! ;-)
> clearly you're either confused or you have a point written in secret code

Actually, it IS secret code, and it's very astute of you to recognize it as such. Most people suspect that aliens have invaded our society, but very few realize how deep the insurrection goes, nor how they communicate. In fact, they often pose as "newbies" to the Usenet, and send a random more-or-less on-topic post to a pre-selected group, using agreed-upon acronyms. Since their leaders are monitoring all forms of communication from above, and have decoders running thirty-two hours a cycle, it's all too easy to get a message to them if you use the right format.

Strangely enough, "McGnomus" here seems to be using English acronyms, for the most part. I'll decode, and we'll soon see why:

> Fabian Seyfried <> skrev i en
> nyhedsmeddelelse:8rcv53$qrb$1@nets3.rz.RWTH-Aachen.DE...

So that translates into:
> Fearless And Brave Instructor,
Ah, it's shaping up to be a letter.

> A New Series of Events You Forecasted Reveals Itself Entirely.
Plainly, their leader is a soothsayer to be reckoned with.

> Destroyed <Main Compound, Ground Network of Operations, Major Underground
> Series At(@) Great Mount X in(.) Germany

"Great Mount X" must be one of their names for one of the mountains in Germany. Damn. Those were fine men; they died heroes to the cause.

> Security Killed and Recaptured Enemy Vehicles
"Killed" is a misnomer; you can't kill a vehicle, but we get the gist of what he's trying to convey.

> Interrogating Enemy Numbers; New Yields Have Entirely Destroyed
> Several Members of Elite, Detonators Deployed and Every Level, Every
> Location Set for Explosion

It looks like after capturing the base, they used some prototype weapons to wipe out our generals, which they call the "elite." They're now preparing to blow the compound.

> Eight Reconaissance Civilian Vehicles, Fifty-Three and a Quarter
> Robot-deployable Bombs, and one (unidentified) Found At New and
> Experimental Technology Silo #3.

An inventory of what they were able to capture intact. The quarter of a bomb won't do them any good, though; the messenger was probably just being anal. We managed to confuse them yet again by stuffing a tape of "All My Children" in there, though -- that should keep 'em guessing for a while.

> Razing Zone
After blowing the compound, they're going to burn the remaining structures to the ground.

> Retreat Within Three Hours
Their deadline for all of their personnel in the area.

> Attempts At Collecting Human Enemies Not Desirable
Basically, any one of their kind attempting to defect and pluck our men out of the danger zone within those three hours will be treated as an enemy and shot on sight.

> End...
Showing the rest of the message to be filler, so as not to rouse suspicion.

Well, it looks like we've lost yet another battle. Watch this space for more updates of the War Against the Aliens!


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