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Various Froupiness

How to be a Sidekick in 5 Easy Steps
Posted to %afda by Kasatka on 13th April 2000


  1. Find a nice cape. Length doesn't matter. Batgirl's cape was pointless, as far as I'm concerned.

  2. Suffer some trauma which makes you want to seek revenge and kick someone's butt. (An untimely death helps with this.)

  3. Late teenage years to early twenties is a good age for most sidekicks, though if you have some specialized skill, you can be a way faboo butler like Alfred. (Yes, Alfred was a sidekick! Don't tell me he wasn't!)

  4. Get a look that can easily be made into a hot action figure.

  5. Find a superhero. It doesn't matter if they already have one or two sidekicks, they can always use more.

Maybe your mom was a sidekick and you just didn't know it. Ask and find out!

Posted to %afda by Caleb on 10th December 2000

Caleb wrote:
> >
> > < snip dictionary as a sidekick. >

iain wrote:
> so you didn't have any good ideas about how i can get my dictionary a look
> that can be made into a hot action figure?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. First of all, you need to get it a cape. Personally, I think either a nice maroon or deep blue, but I suppose that all depends on what cover your dictionary is wearing at the time. Personally, I'd recommend that it dress in leather, especially a nice darker leather, but then I've always been one to recommend ekspensive clothings for others. Now, this cape will have to be able to be removed and replaced easily, so I recommend getting a good fitting, that will slip over the top and down to about the first binding, but no further. After all, we've got to have the proper cape drape, if you will. Now, you'll need to take some really nice action shots of the dictionary saving the day. I recommend going someplace with nice lighting, and scripting out a few action sequences where you can photograph the dictionary doing its thing. Be sure you take pictures both with and without the cape, and also be sure that some of the pictures without the cape have the dictionary open, in order to show the true range and flexibility it has. Also, a few shots with the string and lever might work well. Once you have the pictures, choose some of the best of each category. Now, go to a action figure manufacturer, and show him the shots. Be sure to suggest that the smallest, easiest to loose action figures be cast in just one pose, for use in things like Happy Meals and such. (Now, I realize that there on the Isles you may not have Happy Meals; if so, then that's just another reason for me to want to move there someday. However, here in the States this is a very important part of any action figure's career.) Then, suggest increasingly expensive models, with different sizes, capes made of different quality materials, and possibly even some action figures that can change from open to closed, and back again. For the final, super-duper action figure, suggest that some string also be included, for use on levers. Have the string in a "secret" compartment inside the dictionary, that the adoring kids could open up and get the string out - already attached to the dictionary, and just waiting to pull a lever. Of course, when the string is out, the dictionary should still be able to close agiain, because what sort of lever-pulling dictionary would it be without the ability to wear it's cape while pulling the lever?

Anyway, those are my suggestions.


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