Posted to %afda by pieceoftheuniverse on 31 October 2000
Matt H wrote:
>> I thought long and hard about how to introduce myself...then found the form
>> on zootle.co.uk, which made things easier
Wonko The Sane wrote:
> Can you point me in the right direction to THE FORM please.
"He wants to go to the Form!"
Voices echoed around Wonko the Sane. He looked round him, but to no avail; anyone watching him was hidden to the naked eye. The sounds that escaped their lips, however, wracked the air around him. Suddenly, silence, and he stared at the individual that had suddenly appeared before him as if he had been standing there all week.
"The form," repeated Wonko.
"Well, that's a very interesting question," said the little man as he began to pace back and forth. "For it rather depends where you are at the moment, and where you wish to get to. Not to mention the hows and the whys, for the more curious among us."
"I wish," sighed Wonko as if this were the hundredth time, "to go to the Form."
"Ah!" exclaimed the little man, who promptly leapt into the air for no particular reason other than to sit there rather disconcertingly. "But the question should not be where is it, but where is it not!"
"Well, it's obviously not here," said another little man who appeared several feet above Wonko's head and who resolutely decided not to fall down. "Otherwise he wouldn't ask."
"But that's the clever thing," said another who seemed to be buried up to his neck in the ground. "For the greatest thing about electricity is that it makes everything be everywhere else at once. One has access to the largest library of them all, and most spend all their time trapped in a little sector all their own." The head floated up from the ground, showing that there was no body attached at all. "Why do you wish the Form?"
"To fill it," stated Wonko matter-of-factly.
"To fill it with himself, I think!" exclaimed the first, who began to quite madly hop up and down in mid-air as if he had come to a breakthrough in reasoning.
"Aren't you out of yourself yet?" asked the second, peering intently at Wonko.
"I would think not," Wonko said, but then began to feel rather lightheaded. "What's happening to me?" he managed to gurgle.
"All the information you've ever filled out is being drained from you," said the head. "All the requests for personal information, all the credit card numbers, all the surveys and opinion polls, every click and type that you have provided to spammers and legitimate businesses alike is being drawn from you so that people may form their own opinions of you with whatever you choose to provide -- and even some of the things you choose not to!"
Things began to get a little fuzzy, and it didn't help that the first little man leapt from the air and landed upon his head, covering it with a tablecloth pulled out of nowhere in particular. "Time for tea!" he exclaimed, and the other two clamoured to their places. Wonko felt that there was an awful lot of placesettings for only a three-person tea-party, but was hardly in the position to object.
"Oh dear," said a voice that Wonko was almost positive didn't originate from the three, "it seems our table is finding his way to the Form without us, after all."
"Pity," said the first (second? Third? Seventeenth? It was hard to tell). "I was hoping we could play cards."
The tablecloth world he was in dissolved, and it was all too soon that he found himself at http://www.zootle.co.uk/afda/cgi/bio.cgi
He began to manœuver his mouse, paused, thought about it for a bit, paused some more, and then began to type...
pieceoftheuniverse - saying "go here" is just so BORING, ya know?
> been reading about Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, have we?
As a matter of fact, I have a little note right here beside me. It reads, and I quote: "Do not EVER, under ANY circumstances mix Alice in Wonderland and Wizard of Oz in the SAME sitting."
Naturally, I wanted to see what happened if I did.
pieceoftheuniverse - I'm just glad I've never visited the Empire State Building...