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pieces of the universe

Zaphod and Trillian?
Posted to %afda by pieceoftheuniverse on 12th December 2000 asked:
> hey everybody

Hello! How is your particular reality proceeding on this fine December diurnal anomaly?

> were zaphod and trillian really a couple, so to speak?

They were -- or rather, are, if you believe that characters in fictional portrayals constantly exist, rather than be referred to in past tense as if they've died, in which case I'm very hurt that I wasn't invited to the funeral -- a couple in the sense that they were a gathering of two that happened to hang around each other an awful lot. They did meet each other at a somewhat dull party, and Trillian -did- head off with Zaphod in his starship, but that by no means can be interpreted as any sort of romantic engagement. When someone approaches you with the phrase, "Hey babe, is this guy boring you? I'm from another planet," and manages to hit your situation right on the mark -- that is, you're bored to tears with this guy babbling on about whatever it is he does for a living -- and then offers to take you not only away from the terrible party but away from the planet entirely, one finds themselves considering all the options. And, apparently, the decision goes something like "what the hell" as one begins to board the spacecraft.

Life and the universe being what they are, however, it can be assumed that Zaphod probably figured that since she was on board she wanted to get "busy," and no doubt tried to seduce her in any possible way. Results would be doubtful in this regard; on the one hand, she is a fairly independent woman no doubt well-trained in the art of shoving off any twerp who would try to lay a hand on her that she doesn't want -- or, for that matter, three of them. On the other hand, she could be severely distorted, seeing as how she could be racing away from her home planet at a fairly good pace, thrown out in with one of the more disreputable elements of the galaxy (namely, Zaphod Beeblebrox).

In hypothetical situations like this we can always assume one critical thing, one very important idea that should pervade every sense of what is good, right, and normal in the universe, and then proceed to chuck it out the nearest window if you don't feel it fits your particular mood. That one thing is this: it's their own business.

Every sentient (fictional or not) in creation has the right to privacy. Whether they be warm-blooded, reptilian, a hyper-intelligent shade of the colour blue, or a weevil from Star-Dimension AB/12, they all deserve the chance, if they so desire, to pull the proverbial curtain across the fourth wall and shut us out. They can do whatever they like behind there; kill one another, make love, or frequently both. They could kiss, they could dance the cha-cha, they could hang upside-down in the shape of a pretzel if they want to, as long as they get a chance to relax. Big Brother may be watching, but everyone, even purely fictional individuals, needs their space.

As such, it's probably none of our business. We can infer what we like when they let themselves be seen yet again, but in all likelihood we're going to be off by a fairly wide margin. Our total imaginations could never even approach the harsh reality (or hash fictional reality, which really amounts to the same sort of thing) that took place, so there's really little point in trying. Sure, it might be fun to ask them or to attempt to find out in some other way, but even then you're never going to get the whole story. Allow them their privacy; they've certainly deserved it what with all they've been through.

pieceoftheuniverse - what with Earth, the Vogons, and a couple interstellar conspiracies, that should be enough -- but you want their interpersonal relationships TOO?


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