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The Cult of MarvinTM
Posted by pieceoftheuniverse on 2 August 2000The Cult of MarvinTM is the absolute worst religious nonsense group on the pus-filled cold sore that is the universe, and they damn well know it. Unfortunately, this piss-ant nothing of a collection of the most downtrodden individuals society has ever known is one of the largest ever, and that includes the time all of the homogenized puddings got together for a pep rally.
The Cult of MarvinTM preaches the lament of life, ridicules the pursuit of happiness, and declares that you too can live six times the age of creation if only you decide that's exactly what you don't want to do. One of the catch phrases (which of course never bother to catch on, and we only call them "catch phrases" because no one has yet, so to speak, caught one) of the Cult of MarvinTM is "Life'll get you in the end." We also don't believe in correct grammar, because what's the point?
If you happen to think that there's no way you'll get into the Cult of MarvinTM, well, you're probably right. We would recruit you, but we don't want to get you down, or at least no more down that you already are (or should be, for that matter, seeing as how life is what it is); and what's more, we're not really looking, seeing as how we're all far too mired in our own defecation of self- pity to bother. Which is also why we didn't make up any sort of application form, because only the most horribly depressed want to come by, and we really don't need that sort of influence in our lives, thankyouverymuchly.
So now you've been rejected, possibly by the only group that would take you in if it had even the slightest indication to do anything, which we don't, so why do we even write this thing anyway?
Good God, we're depressed.
---the preceding has been half-hearted -- no, make that quarter-heartedly thrown together by the Cult of MarvinTM. Just this once, we agree with every damn word; if you don't like it, tough.
