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Hitchhiker Guy
Posted to %afda by Arthur Levesque on 15th May 2001
(To the tune of "American Pie" by Don McClean)
(In memory of Douglas Adams, 1952-2001)
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how
That novel used to make me smile
And I knew if my luck turned foul
That I would always have my towel
And that would keep me happy for a while
But then I prayed that I'd been deceived
With every e-mail that I received
Bad news in my inbox
Could even crush Beeblebrox
I can't remember if I cried
When my whole planet burned and fried
But something touched me deep inside
The day the humor died
So, bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
Answer's forty-two, don't know why
Did you read the 'Hiker's Guide
There in the mud lying on your side
'Til Ford Prefect says to go
Do you believe in hyperspace
Thumbing to get to some other place
Ford, can you explain this to me real slow
Well, I guess that they destroyed the Earth
That's where I was living since my birth
Are all Vogons mean and cold?
Man, thank God for the Heart of Gold!
I stood near Marvin saying "dust to dust"
Behind Eccentrica and her triple bust
They said "don't panic" but I must
The day the humor died
I started singing
Bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
Answer's forty-two, don't know why
Now for Doug Adams we've dug a hole
For his long, dark tea-time of the soul
But that's not how it's s'posed to end
I knew Life, the Universe, Everything
One day I became the Sandwich King
At what cost when I've lost my best friend?
Oh, we still while away the days
All drinking up at Milliway's
But the show, don't bother
For us, already over
But while Arthur can't outwit a quark
And Marvin waited with cars to park
We watched Creation fade to dark
The day the humor died
We were singing
Bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
Answer's forty-two, don't know why
Tricia Trillian was one in a million
At odds of over two to a billion
To one against, and falling fast
Then put on ice though treated nice
Our rulers turned out to be mice
With assistance from old Slartibartfast
Make a brand new Earth, Mark II by name
But it could never be the same
No matter what we do
Cuz we could never, without you
He made the whole world with just a sneeze
Then the monkeys dropped from the trees
I wished we'd stayed back in the seas
The day the humor died
We started singing
Bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
Answer's forty-two, don't know why
Oh, and then we took another look
At each friendly, funny book
With nothing new let's start again
So come on, steal a car, crash that junk
Believe with the electric monk
Visit the mattresses all named Zem
Oh, and as I surfed his web page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No more of his updates
The net belongs to Gates
And as the BBC tape rewound
To watch the whale hit the ground
There was nothing left there to be found
The day the humor died
He was singing
Bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
Answer's forty-two, don't know why
I met a girl who walked on air
And told her why dolphins weren't there
But she just smiled and took my hand
She said she knew how all should be
With no one nailed to a tree
But the plan wouldn't work without that one man
And in the streets the people walked
Restored to life, they looked and talked
But now forever after
Was never any laughter
And the three men who brought me such yuks
That Arthur, Ford, and Beebelbrox
One last thing they could not out-fox
The day the humor died
And they were singing
Bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
Answer's forty-two, don't know why
We were singing
Bye-bye, to that Hitchhiker Guy
Thought that Zaphod wasn't half odd
But his insults were dry
And his monkey boy
Was thinkin' he'd learn to fly
Said the answer's forty-two, don't know why
