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Share and Enjoy

This is taken directly from the radio series, and is only included here because I happen to rather like it  :o)


"Share and Enjoy" is, of course, the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years.
The motto stands - or rather stood - in three mile high illuminated letters near the Complaints Department spaceport on Eadrax - "Share and Enjoy". Unfortunately its weight was such that shortly after it was erected, the ground beneath the letters caved in and they dropped for nearly half their length through the underground offices of many talented young complaints executives - now deceased. The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language, to read "Go stick your head in a pig", and are no longer illuminated, except at times of special celebration.
At these times of special celebration a choir of over two million robots sing the company song "Share and Enjoy". Unfortunately - again - another of the computing errors for which the company is justly famous means that the robot's voices are exactly a flattened fifth out of tune and the result sounds something like this, only slightly worse.


Share and Enjoy 
Share and Enjoy 
Journey through life 
With a plastic boy 
Or girl by your side 
Let your pal be your guide 
And when it breaks down 
Or starts to annoy 
Or grinds when it moves 
And gives you no joy 
Cos it's eaten your hat 
Or had sex with your cat 
Bled oil on your floor 
Or ripped off your door 
You get to the point 
You can't stand any more 
Bring it to us 
We won't give a fig 
We'll tell you:
'Go Stick Your Head In A Pig!'


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