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~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Newbie FAQ ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
  What follows is a hopefully-not-too-horrendously-out-of-date version of the Newbie FAQ. In lovely no-question form, where applicable. That is to say, some/most of these aren't questions, but they are helpful advice and it does mention other FAQs. Enjoy, and don't operate heavy machinery, etc., within 2 hours of reading.
½. Read the MFAQ. It is (notionally) posted in the newsfroup every Thursday. This is more definitive than this NFAQ, but not as much so as the FAQ. Any differences between them are the product of a deranged imagination, which must be said, is highly probable.
1. Read the FAQ. This should be quite clear by now. It is located at here (in the absence of any other version) and contains a lot of very useful but possibly out-of-date info.
1½. Please do not be alarmed by anything you see or hear in this newsfroup. You are bound to feel some initial ill effects, as it contains messages at an improbability level of two to the power of two hundred and seventy-six thousand to one against - probably much higher.
1½a.Some people, although we're not naming names3, have occasionally taken it upon themselves to answer what are apparently honest questions with awfully silly answers. Please bear that in mind when an answer to a question seems quite improbable.
1½b.We're all quite mad, here.
2. No cheating.
3. Always reply to the end of a message. This helps the reader who wants to find out exactly who started flaming who, or something similar.
3½. Footnotes look like this: X, where X is some combination of numbers, letters, and symbols. They are found at the bottom of the post, usually before the .sig starts, but not always. This, and other things, has led to some missing footnotes upon occasion. But Don't Panic!pi The "missing" footnotes may be one of the standard footnotes, and not need to be included. See here for more information.
4. You can call yourself whatever you want. Even " " if you'd like. Really. Almost. You cannot call yourself by the name of a country best know for chocolates and waffles, which happens to be in Europe, and happens to start with "B" and end in "M". Otherwise, you can call yourself whatever you damn well like.
5. We also hang around on IRC a lot, often without ever really saying much. Find us at on #afda. Newbies should be warned that this channel has been taken over by Aglamianspi^2. These can be rude, brutal people, and have scared more than one true Afdanians away from the channel.
6. You are all figments of Jacob's imagination. If not already done, sign a declaration in blood stating that you are thought up entirely by Jacob. There is no way out of this, and must be done, or else you will be ignored in all eternity. Really. Tea?
7. I'm sorry, but we're all out of blue maroon ginger spice cinnamon tea.
8. This is not a newsgroup, but a newsfroup and should therefore be shortened to 'nf', not 'ng'.
9. Thou shalst not pirate any of DNA's works in any form, and you will be disliked if we find out. In other words, no tea for you.
10. Yes, the radio play can be downloaded on MP3 and no, we don't want to tell you where.
11. Yes, the game can be played on-line and no, we don't want to tell you where. (OK:
12. We also have a web site. It is occasionally maintained by iain and has almost nothing to do with DNA (much like this nf.) You're reading it.
13. Snipping is an important part of afda. You should always snip the .sig, as well as all parts irrelevant to the post you are making (every time it edges into something almost but not entirely unlike the original post.)
13½.Small doses of crossposting may be hazardous to your health. Beware of Daisy. She has a short fuse...
14. There are, at various times, always campaigns of some sort or another in effect, or not. (Did that not entirely make sense? Good! TCTSC!) These are generally acronyms or conglomerations of letters that start with either 1) TC (meaning "the campaign") or B) "Cam" (short for "campaign". See the Acronym FAQ for a list of use[ful/less] acronyms.
15. Due to years of practice, we have evolved a finely-tuned method for denoting off-topic posts in the froup. This involves using coloured tags in the subject line of posts. A comprehensive guide can be found here
16. Ano koudai tokage wa Toukyou o marobasu yo! Aieeeee!

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[3] 0.1 Caleb and Pieceoftheuniverse for two anyway.

[X] Also, watch out for self-referential footnotesX, or looping footnotes of various degrees of sophisticationY.

[Y] Like this: X.

[0.1] Footnotes don't _have_ to be in order, either, but they absolutely _must_ be artfully arranged.

[pi] Sorry, I just wanted to say that.

[pi^2] Residents of, or some such.